I'm Hurt

He and his wife had their baby. He e-mailed, texted, called his friends. I am not one of them. He will say it is because that is what I said. And I did. I told him he was a co-worker. I said that he had not been that red hot of a friend, and that he kind of sucked as a co-worker.

That kind of talk will get you removed from the friends list in a hurry.

I'm not going to lie. That's exactly what I did. I removed him from my contacts. I deleted him from the list of friends. I deleted every e-mail. I destroyed everything. That is what one does. They try to remove everything that will remind them of him. I totally did that. I seem petty and like a sore loser. I am. But, you see, I have to work with this man, so I can't rage at him. I am still trying to keep the illusion that no one knows. That I was that good at covering my tracks. I was asked to find out what he and his bride wanted as a wedding gift, as we were such good friends. I was asked several times if I knew if she had the baby yet? I would be one of those to ask, because we are friends, right? I told him once in an e-mail that his personal life was of no concern to me, when he complained that he wasn't getting enough sleep. I didn't want to know. Though I knew. But you see, I set the rules. He is just following my example. Probably shared the e-mail with his wife, who told him "She sounds like a stalker! Don't tell her anything." It is none of my business.

I've been betrayed. I was not shown courtesy. He knew. But he didn't give me any consideration. Remember, he broke my heart. I didn't even touch his. If he were a friend, he would have told me, even if I didn't want to hear it. But he didn't. He met a woman, got her pregnant, married her, swore others to secrecy, and then acts annoyed that I even know. I am only following his example.

Of course I'm bitter. But I can't even let anyone know that. All I am is a joke. A pathetic old woman who just needs to get a grip.