Handedness
As I'm sure the clever among you could tell, I'm left-handed (I know, my typing slants the wrong way! I don't know how to make that appear that way, either....). Now, on an average day, I don't even think about it. I am used tighten a light bulb first before I remove it, and with the invention of electric windows, I don't ever roll a car window up first to roll it down, or visa versa. (If there are other left handed people reading this, and you don't do these thing, too, well, FREAKS!!). I have accepted that I will have to ten key right handed, at restaurants, I will always have to sit on the end otherwise I will bump elbows, and I take comfort in the fact that the drive up ATM Machines accommodate me (that is, If I can get the window down). But what really burns me up is wrapping paper on a roll.
I know. How hard could this be? But consider: when a right handed person cuts the wrapping paper off of the roll, the paper falls to the table neatly. The gift is placed in the center, and wrapped. WHA-LAH! When I go to cut the paper off the roll, I have to turn the roll in the other direction, so if there are cute little dancing animals holding up banners, wishing the recipient happy something, they are now upside down. I cut the paper it falls to the table, I put the gift in the center, wrap it, and WHA-LAH! I now have a present that is wrapped upside down, ready to be given as a gift.
During the Christmas season this was especially vexing as, have I mentioned, that I have 4 kids, a husband, Mom, in-laws, various other relatives, co-workers, friends and a dog. After rewraping yet another d@mn Christmas present, I whined.
"Gosh! I wish that they (and you KNOW who "they" are!) would make left handed wrapping paper! It would be so much easier!" My mother who was also wrapping at the time, asked why, and I told her what I have just shared with you. She scoffed. "They can't do that!" she said. Right handed people would buy it and wrap there presents upside down then!" I said "What? Right handed people can't read? It will say Left handed paper!" She said, "you just need to deal with it, and flip the paper around.."
Betrayed by my own mother! (to her credit she has six other kids who are right handed so anyone who grew up in a big family knows, MAJORITY RULES!!!). This has set me in motion! I am proud of my handedness, and am ready to take on the big boys. Oh, sure while there must be quite a bit of cash to be had suing Hallmark and American Greeting, wrapping paper division, why not go immediately to the Big Dog! So, for the record, I am interested in going after the UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE. You know those roll of stamps? They cause me undue stress and emotional pain, while putting me at risk for repetitive motion injuries, and paper cuts. In order for me to comfortably apply the stamps, I have to turn them UPSIDE DOWN as they dispense to the RIGHT ! And anyone who's ever gone to jr high school knows that to apply a stamp upside down means YOU LOVE THE RECIPIENT! I do NOT love the electric company, the cable carrier, or my cell phone company, even though they ask me to come and get my love!
THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!!
Who's with me?!
I know. How hard could this be? But consider: when a right handed person cuts the wrapping paper off of the roll, the paper falls to the table neatly. The gift is placed in the center, and wrapped. WHA-LAH! When I go to cut the paper off the roll, I have to turn the roll in the other direction, so if there are cute little dancing animals holding up banners, wishing the recipient happy something, they are now upside down. I cut the paper it falls to the table, I put the gift in the center, wrap it, and WHA-LAH! I now have a present that is wrapped upside down, ready to be given as a gift.
During the Christmas season this was especially vexing as, have I mentioned, that I have 4 kids, a husband, Mom, in-laws, various other relatives, co-workers, friends and a dog. After rewraping yet another d@mn Christmas present, I whined.
"Gosh! I wish that they (and you KNOW who "they" are!) would make left handed wrapping paper! It would be so much easier!" My mother who was also wrapping at the time, asked why, and I told her what I have just shared with you. She scoffed. "They can't do that!" she said. Right handed people would buy it and wrap there presents upside down then!" I said "What? Right handed people can't read? It will say Left handed paper!" She said, "you just need to deal with it, and flip the paper around.."
Betrayed by my own mother! (to her credit she has six other kids who are right handed so anyone who grew up in a big family knows, MAJORITY RULES!!!). This has set me in motion! I am proud of my handedness, and am ready to take on the big boys. Oh, sure while there must be quite a bit of cash to be had suing Hallmark and American Greeting, wrapping paper division, why not go immediately to the Big Dog! So, for the record, I am interested in going after the UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE. You know those roll of stamps? They cause me undue stress and emotional pain, while putting me at risk for repetitive motion injuries, and paper cuts. In order for me to comfortably apply the stamps, I have to turn them UPSIDE DOWN as they dispense to the RIGHT ! And anyone who's ever gone to jr high school knows that to apply a stamp upside down means YOU LOVE THE RECIPIENT! I do NOT love the electric company, the cable carrier, or my cell phone company, even though they ask me to come and get my love!
THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!!
Who's with me?!
posted by Momcani at 10:46 AM
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