A Symptom, not the Disease
Ok.
I'm a wreak. My daughter is graduating Sunday. When I think of all those people who thought that by my having her as a single mother that I was sentencing her to a life in a double-wide, with clothing from a garage sale as her Friday going out finery, I am just fill with pride at what she has accomplished. Not me, it was all her. She could have been raised by wolves, and I'm not saying that we are better than wolves, and she would have turned out as wonderful. I was very lucky. I know it. She is the kind of daughter parents hope for. We were truly blessed.
My husband and I have separated. We are getting a divorce. (does anyone else hear Tammy Wynette?). Seriously, this feels real. We are behaving very rationally, and adult like. We have relaxed because the pressure is off. I'm miffed only because my vanity has been bruised that he gave up without a fight, however, to say that there was no battle is a lie, as we have been trying to wrestle each other off this mountain for a lot of years, and now that I have won, the victory seems empty. He was my friend before he was my husband, and that is the part that makes this the saddest for me. I am losing a friend. Oh, we will still be friends, yes, we will but we won't have that closeness anymore. I'll miss that. We make each other miserable, so this is for the best. My oldest son treats me the same way his dad did. That is why we have to end this. We are a bad example of what a marriage is. My mother used to say that all men were no good. I never believed it. I never believed it because I didn't want it to be true. We have to have hope. Hope that things are not as bleak as they seem. And faith. "Jump, and the parachute will appear."
I'm jumping.
I'm a wreak. My daughter is graduating Sunday. When I think of all those people who thought that by my having her as a single mother that I was sentencing her to a life in a double-wide, with clothing from a garage sale as her Friday going out finery, I am just fill with pride at what she has accomplished. Not me, it was all her. She could have been raised by wolves, and I'm not saying that we are better than wolves, and she would have turned out as wonderful. I was very lucky. I know it. She is the kind of daughter parents hope for. We were truly blessed.
My husband and I have separated. We are getting a divorce. (does anyone else hear Tammy Wynette?). Seriously, this feels real. We are behaving very rationally, and adult like. We have relaxed because the pressure is off. I'm miffed only because my vanity has been bruised that he gave up without a fight, however, to say that there was no battle is a lie, as we have been trying to wrestle each other off this mountain for a lot of years, and now that I have won, the victory seems empty. He was my friend before he was my husband, and that is the part that makes this the saddest for me. I am losing a friend. Oh, we will still be friends, yes, we will but we won't have that closeness anymore. I'll miss that. We make each other miserable, so this is for the best. My oldest son treats me the same way his dad did. That is why we have to end this. We are a bad example of what a marriage is. My mother used to say that all men were no good. I never believed it. I never believed it because I didn't want it to be true. We have to have hope. Hope that things are not as bleak as they seem. And faith. "Jump, and the parachute will appear."
I'm jumping.
posted by Momcani at 9:49 AM
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