How do You disappoint a 10 yr Old?
Help me with this. I want to know. My son is very upset with the prospect of his dad and I getting a divorce. We had gone to see my uncle yesterday. We were talking about this and that, and apparently my uncle caught on.
"Is your Dad living with his parents?" my uncle asked my son. My son replied", For now. But I feel pretty sure that he will be moving back into the house soon."
Now its understandable that he would think this. My husband is always at the house....on the weekends. Practically the whole weekend. To be honest, its as if he isn't gone. When my husband physically lived at the house, we really only saw him on the weekends. He worked the 3rd shift and would be asleep during a good portion of the rest of the day. As the kids were in school, it could be that the kids only saw him during the week as he was leaving to go to work. That was also the only time I really saw him. Oh, they would see him briefly when he came home and they were headed off to school. But basically, I would guess that the total time spent with the kids during the week was maybe 4 hours. 4 hours out of 120. Ok. But he probably made up for it on the weekends right?
No, Dave would sleep in, and then get up to do the things that he wanted to do. Like go running, or exercise. Or buy himself something. He would be pissy anytime that there we a task to be done, cause damn it! The weekend was his time! Seriously. I would leave rather than listen to him bitch and moan about doing something around the house. Like, patch a hole in the wall. The hole is there because Dave punched it. It has been there for 3 years. It was totally my fault. I was probably nagging him about something, probably another thing he needed to do, and he hit the wall rather than take his frustration out on me. I'm just a bitch, frankly.
So since we have been separated he has come ove around 9:00 every Saturday to see his family. Last Saturday, my youngest son asked Dave, when he arrived, if he was going to take them to see Daves parents. Dave threw his keys yelled at my son to stop harassing him about it, and stomped out into the garage. A few minutes later, he was back, yelling at the oldest boy, because he had used a tool and hadn't put it back proper. What the F@ck! How hard is it to put sh*t away? You know, he spent a lot of F@cking money on this mother f@cking tools. That boy had better get his head out of his a$$, or f@ck it! Dave would just throw the mother f@ckers away! You know, Dave doesn't have f@cking time to put this sh*t away, he's got other mother f@cking things to do, the f@cking little a$$hole!
Oh yeah, gimme more of that!
But this was our life. The 10 year old wasn't yelled at, so even though Dave bitched like this, he didn't bitch at him, so what is the problem? He loves his dad. He wants him home. Why is that so hard? Just as I let it go for 16 years, I let it permeate my children. I'm not above reproach! I got mad too. I cussed too. But I didn't call them f@cknig little a$$holes, and get angry because they need some of my time. I said this over and over again to Dave. I didn't want the kids to think that this is what married life was. But I let it go, because I was too tired to care. It my fault. I should have ended it sooner. But how do you tell that to a 10 year old. That Mommy is sorry, but I can't do it anymore?
"Is your Dad living with his parents?" my uncle asked my son. My son replied", For now. But I feel pretty sure that he will be moving back into the house soon."
Now its understandable that he would think this. My husband is always at the house....on the weekends. Practically the whole weekend. To be honest, its as if he isn't gone. When my husband physically lived at the house, we really only saw him on the weekends. He worked the 3rd shift and would be asleep during a good portion of the rest of the day. As the kids were in school, it could be that the kids only saw him during the week as he was leaving to go to work. That was also the only time I really saw him. Oh, they would see him briefly when he came home and they were headed off to school. But basically, I would guess that the total time spent with the kids during the week was maybe 4 hours. 4 hours out of 120. Ok. But he probably made up for it on the weekends right?
No, Dave would sleep in, and then get up to do the things that he wanted to do. Like go running, or exercise. Or buy himself something. He would be pissy anytime that there we a task to be done, cause damn it! The weekend was his time! Seriously. I would leave rather than listen to him bitch and moan about doing something around the house. Like, patch a hole in the wall. The hole is there because Dave punched it. It has been there for 3 years. It was totally my fault. I was probably nagging him about something, probably another thing he needed to do, and he hit the wall rather than take his frustration out on me. I'm just a bitch, frankly.
So since we have been separated he has come ove around 9:00 every Saturday to see his family. Last Saturday, my youngest son asked Dave, when he arrived, if he was going to take them to see Daves parents. Dave threw his keys yelled at my son to stop harassing him about it, and stomped out into the garage. A few minutes later, he was back, yelling at the oldest boy, because he had used a tool and hadn't put it back proper. What the F@ck! How hard is it to put sh*t away? You know, he spent a lot of F@cking money on this mother f@cking tools. That boy had better get his head out of his a$$, or f@ck it! Dave would just throw the mother f@ckers away! You know, Dave doesn't have f@cking time to put this sh*t away, he's got other mother f@cking things to do, the f@cking little a$$hole!
Oh yeah, gimme more of that!
But this was our life. The 10 year old wasn't yelled at, so even though Dave bitched like this, he didn't bitch at him, so what is the problem? He loves his dad. He wants him home. Why is that so hard? Just as I let it go for 16 years, I let it permeate my children. I'm not above reproach! I got mad too. I cussed too. But I didn't call them f@cknig little a$$holes, and get angry because they need some of my time. I said this over and over again to Dave. I didn't want the kids to think that this is what married life was. But I let it go, because I was too tired to care. It my fault. I should have ended it sooner. But how do you tell that to a 10 year old. That Mommy is sorry, but I can't do it anymore?
posted by Momcani at 12:39 PM
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