The Trail
I went bike riding again last night. Now, don't! I am not turning into a bike blogger! I just wanted to share all the reasons that I hate this trail.
1) This trail is uphill.
Both ways. Kid you not. the start of it isn't as steep as the end, but, wow! I don't like hills. They are gonna kill me.
2) It is 20 miles from point a to point b and back again.
I know! What the hell am I think? Am I freaking Lance Armstrong? Heck no! I'm not even Vance Armstrong, I'm not even in his family!
3) Bugs.
Every one that you can think of, I encountered. Chiggers, mosquito's, spiders. I have, 24 individual bites on me. That was from a 10 minute stop 15 minutes from the end of the first half of the trail. Stopped for a drink of water, and the chain mysteriously came off the gears. I suspect a swarm of locust are responsible as my bites are of biblical proportions.
4) The trail is bowed.
This trail used to be an old railroad line. The ties were removed, and whalah! A bike trail! Oh, sure some people walk it, and there are occasionally horses on it, but it is a bike trail. Every Thursday for 40 weeks out of the year, bikers descend on this trail. Some get started earlier than other, so there is traffic going both ways. So that the trail is bowed is kind of a drag! One wobble, and you are in the foliage!
5) The trail crosses roads.
Its self not so bad, but as the road is raised, each approach is an experience in terror and physical pain. You have to climb just that much more, but you also have to pause to make sure that there are no cars. If you don't, you become a graceless hood ornament.
6) Bugs.
Oh, yeah, I already mentioned them. But there are not only the buffet variety, but there are all of those little fly bugs that just seem to be attracted to your lungs. Yes I know. Fat free protein.
Now why would anyone go on this trail? Well let me tell you what are a few upsides.
1) There is a bar at the end of this trail.
They serve margheritas and tacos. Hamburgers, too.
2) Everyone else in this bar looks like you.
This is not the typical bar scene. Everyone else is sweaty and smelly and has helmet hair. At this bar, all are created equal.
3) Its not the Tour de France, but it means something to ride it.
Hundreds of people ride this trail every Thursday night. You are among the few, the crazy, the bikers. At the 10 anniversary of this ride, there were thousands of people there. It really is something. (I was there on the 10th anniversary, but had to be driven there because I couldn't finish.....but I tried, damn it!).
4) There is a bar at the end of this trail.
If your gonna risk death from heart failure, its worth it if there is a margharita being dangled in front of you. Am I wrong?
Now for the news. I came. I saw. I said no flipping way. I finished. High five for me! And a "you go girl!"
I'm never doing it again.....maybe. I'm pretty sure. Perhaps.
1) This trail is uphill.
Both ways. Kid you not. the start of it isn't as steep as the end, but, wow! I don't like hills. They are gonna kill me.
2) It is 20 miles from point a to point b and back again.
I know! What the hell am I think? Am I freaking Lance Armstrong? Heck no! I'm not even Vance Armstrong, I'm not even in his family!
3) Bugs.
Every one that you can think of, I encountered. Chiggers, mosquito's, spiders. I have, 24 individual bites on me. That was from a 10 minute stop 15 minutes from the end of the first half of the trail. Stopped for a drink of water, and the chain mysteriously came off the gears. I suspect a swarm of locust are responsible as my bites are of biblical proportions.
4) The trail is bowed.
This trail used to be an old railroad line. The ties were removed, and whalah! A bike trail! Oh, sure some people walk it, and there are occasionally horses on it, but it is a bike trail. Every Thursday for 40 weeks out of the year, bikers descend on this trail. Some get started earlier than other, so there is traffic going both ways. So that the trail is bowed is kind of a drag! One wobble, and you are in the foliage!
5) The trail crosses roads.
Its self not so bad, but as the road is raised, each approach is an experience in terror and physical pain. You have to climb just that much more, but you also have to pause to make sure that there are no cars. If you don't, you become a graceless hood ornament.
6) Bugs.
Oh, yeah, I already mentioned them. But there are not only the buffet variety, but there are all of those little fly bugs that just seem to be attracted to your lungs. Yes I know. Fat free protein.
Now why would anyone go on this trail? Well let me tell you what are a few upsides.
1) There is a bar at the end of this trail.
They serve margheritas and tacos. Hamburgers, too.
2) Everyone else in this bar looks like you.
This is not the typical bar scene. Everyone else is sweaty and smelly and has helmet hair. At this bar, all are created equal.
3) Its not the Tour de France, but it means something to ride it.
Hundreds of people ride this trail every Thursday night. You are among the few, the crazy, the bikers. At the 10 anniversary of this ride, there were thousands of people there. It really is something. (I was there on the 10th anniversary, but had to be driven there because I couldn't finish.....but I tried, damn it!).
4) There is a bar at the end of this trail.
If your gonna risk death from heart failure, its worth it if there is a margharita being dangled in front of you. Am I wrong?
Now for the news. I came. I saw. I said no flipping way. I finished. High five for me! And a "you go girl!"
I'm never doing it again.....maybe. I'm pretty sure. Perhaps.
posted by Momcani at 6:46 PM
2 Comments:
Good for you! Though it sounds like you need some Back Woods Off for the bugs. I bet they lured you to that stop for the express purpose of attacking you.
A bar at the end of a bike trail! Sounds perfect. So I assume your going out next Thursday for margarhitas?
Well, I was wearing bug spray but it wasn't Deep Woods Off. I was also wearing a shirt that said "Bite Me". Maybe that had something to do with it. It was meant to be an expression of my attitude, not an ivitation!
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