Observations
I'm in a bit of a mood today. I can't really classify it, but I think its best to say its pessimistic. I can't quite decided what to post about so, I thought I share a few observations from my morning so far.
A watched puppy will never pee.
I get my son up in the morning and then I take out the dog. The days are getting shorter, so still pretty dark out. She's a toy fox terrier, so she is pretty much white everywhere except her face, but she's still hard to see from the front door with the glare from the lamp. So I turn on the porch light. WHY DON'T I JUST ANNOUNCE TO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT MY DOG IS ABOUT TO PUDDLE?! I swear the dog literally crossed her legs, rather then do her business under the harsh glare of the porch light! So I turned the light off. And walked away. My daughter let her in a few minutes later, and that dog came in and glared at me. Normally she keeps me company here at my desk, with her own princess pillow, but not today! She toughing it on the couch! She doesn't even want to know my name. She's acting all "cat".
No matter how many times you tell them, and for your efforts, get a "MOM! I KNOW! YOU TELL ME ALL THE TIME "(major eye roll!), a teenage boy will still not put the lid on the trashcan.
We live four blocks from a park. A park where wildlife likes to roam free. Where raccoons, when they get hungry, will leave the park and come to your back yard. And just for grins, will knock over your trashcan and scatter trash all over. And this will not be discovered until the teenage boy has already left for school.
Telling your kids that you are out of regular sugar, so they can use brown sugar on their cereal, is the equivalent of telling your kids to pour dirt on there Rice Krispies.
Brown sugar is apparently only good for oatmeal. And cookie recipes.
No matter how strong your resolve, you will cave and turn the heat on as soon as there is even a suggestion of frost.
My kids walk around in shorts and t-shirt and wonder why they are cold. I am sitting here in a sweater and a hoodie, and if hypothermia weren't setting in, I would be cranking up the heat. Its just a long walk to the other side of the house. Plus I have to pass the dog.
I am the Towel Fairy
Apparently I didn't know. Towels are dropped all over the house, with the faith and trust that the Towel Fairy will be along to pick it up, hang it up, or put it in the washer. Kids seem to be born with this knowledge, and I have been blissfully unaware that its me who has this job. Its kind of like being the Hulk. You see a towel on the floor, you hollar out "WHAT! ARE YOU WAITING FOR THE TOWEL FAIRY TO PICK THIS UP?" Then your eyes, hairs skin turn green, your clothes tear, but not on the seams, and your pants become capris and there's white hot fury, and you come to in front of the towel rack in the bathroom, dazed, wondering how you got there. Yeah. That's who I am.
None of my horoscopes for the day say that today is going to be good. I hope they were only referring to my morning.
A watched puppy will never pee.
I get my son up in the morning and then I take out the dog. The days are getting shorter, so still pretty dark out. She's a toy fox terrier, so she is pretty much white everywhere except her face, but she's still hard to see from the front door with the glare from the lamp. So I turn on the porch light. WHY DON'T I JUST ANNOUNCE TO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT MY DOG IS ABOUT TO PUDDLE?! I swear the dog literally crossed her legs, rather then do her business under the harsh glare of the porch light! So I turned the light off. And walked away. My daughter let her in a few minutes later, and that dog came in and glared at me. Normally she keeps me company here at my desk, with her own princess pillow, but not today! She toughing it on the couch! She doesn't even want to know my name. She's acting all "cat".
No matter how many times you tell them, and for your efforts, get a "MOM! I KNOW! YOU TELL ME ALL THE TIME "(major eye roll!), a teenage boy will still not put the lid on the trashcan.
We live four blocks from a park. A park where wildlife likes to roam free. Where raccoons, when they get hungry, will leave the park and come to your back yard. And just for grins, will knock over your trashcan and scatter trash all over. And this will not be discovered until the teenage boy has already left for school.
Telling your kids that you are out of regular sugar, so they can use brown sugar on their cereal, is the equivalent of telling your kids to pour dirt on there Rice Krispies.
Brown sugar is apparently only good for oatmeal. And cookie recipes.
No matter how strong your resolve, you will cave and turn the heat on as soon as there is even a suggestion of frost.
My kids walk around in shorts and t-shirt and wonder why they are cold. I am sitting here in a sweater and a hoodie, and if hypothermia weren't setting in, I would be cranking up the heat. Its just a long walk to the other side of the house. Plus I have to pass the dog.
I am the Towel Fairy
Apparently I didn't know. Towels are dropped all over the house, with the faith and trust that the Towel Fairy will be along to pick it up, hang it up, or put it in the washer. Kids seem to be born with this knowledge, and I have been blissfully unaware that its me who has this job. Its kind of like being the Hulk. You see a towel on the floor, you hollar out "WHAT! ARE YOU WAITING FOR THE TOWEL FAIRY TO PICK THIS UP?" Then your eyes, hairs skin turn green, your clothes tear, but not on the seams, and your pants become capris and there's white hot fury, and you come to in front of the towel rack in the bathroom, dazed, wondering how you got there. Yeah. That's who I am.
None of my horoscopes for the day say that today is going to be good. I hope they were only referring to my morning.
posted by Momcani at 7:55 AM
2 Comments:
My older boy seems to thing that wherever he happens to drop something is where it belongs. He also doesn't understand why it takes him so long to clean up his room or why shoving everything into the closet isn't acceptable.
My younger boy loudly laments how we "always" make him clean. As if once you've picked up the house, it never needs to be done again.
And I bet you look great with your wings and magic "Towel Fairy" wand, right up until you become the Hulk.
My kids think that too. Once, as an experiment, I left grocery sacks in the middle of the floor and in front of the door to the laundry room. EVERY ONE OF THEM, MOVED SACKS OUT OF THEIR WAY AND PUT IT BACK WHERE I LEFT IT! So, if Mom leaves it there, that must be where it goes!
The wand must be to beat myself up with for picking the towels up all the time!
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